Cyber Bullying & School Bullying

Many schools now implemented “zero tolerance policies” for bullying. This policy is working most of the time, but it’s not the best solution in many cases. Because bullying, not just physical bullying is so common among students. It affects a large number of students.

Recent surveys of elementary and middle school students indicate that approximately one in five students admit to bullying their peers periodically, not limited to physical bullying. So this policy can affect many students. Because of that, many other students and adults may feel discourage to report bullying that they see.

Children who bully usually need help and bullying is a warning sign. They could develop other problems if left alone. These children are in need of positive role models including adults and students in their school. While it’s a good idea to have “zero tolerance policy” in some case, implementing it in most schools might just bring negative impact on the society.

Source: www.ask.hrsa.gov

Mental health professionals should be aware that their job is to protect children from repeat bullying and reduce or limit the effects of bullying that have happened to these children.

Sometimes it’s tempting to try to prevent future bullying by focusing on how these young people should do with their own actions. However, doing so can sometimes backfire because we risk confirming their belief that the bullying was their own fault.

Source: www.ask.hrsa.gov

As school counselors or teachers, or parents, encouraging children who have been bullied to “work things out” with the bullies may make things worse. Particularly not without the supervision of adults or the support of peer mediators.

Keep in mind, the bullied child is not at fault. Mediation-based approaches tend to imply that both parties are partly to blame. We risk further victimization or control of the target. Never ask children to work things out on their own. Bullying is not a simple conflicts between children. Bullying is aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength. And most often it is repeated over and over.

Source: www.ask.hrsa.gov

To effectively reduce bullying, the climate of the school and other social places need to be changed.  School staff and other students, not just teachers and administrators must all take actions to notice and help a child who’s being bullied. The school needs to promote the norm which is “cool” to help out.

Non teaching staff such as bus drivers, nurses, school resource officers, custodians, cafeteria workers, and school librarians, all parents should become aware of the importance of setting the norm.

Source: www.ask.hrsa.gov

Many children will not tell their parents that they’re being bullied.The main reason is that they are embarrassed and ashamed. Sometimes they’re even frightened of the children who are bullying them. As parents, you are responsible for paying attention to what your child is saying.

Its takes a lot of courage for them to tell you. If you notice anything that’s bothering your child, remember that bullying can have serious consequences. Children who are bullied are more likely than other children to feel lonely, depressed and anxious. Some of them have low self-esteem and often feel sick and absent from school. Pay attention to these signs.

Source: www.ask.hrsa.gov

To help a student or young person who were bullied, mental professionals such as counselors need to understand that bullying is aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Children who were bullied need support and encouragement to tell what has happened to them and to talk about their feelings. They also need protection from future bullying.

By establishing a strong, positive relationships with adults and peers, bullied children can fee where they belong and stop blaming themselves for the bullying. In extreme cases, bullied children need support with post traumatic stress symptoms, even after the bullying has been stopped.

Source: www.ask.hrsa.gov

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Bullying can happen anywhere to anyone. It can happen in school or after school environment. If a child hurts or scares another child on purpose, it’s bullying. If the bullied person has hard time defending himself, and you see it and want to help. Can you help? Bullying isn’t always easy to notice because it can be hitting or name-calling, but sometimes it can be saying mean things to people in person or behind their back.

If you notice those behaviors and want to help. Make sure you do the following:

• Don’t just stand there. . . say something or tell an adult;
• Tell the bullying that it isn’t funny or cool to bully someone;
• However, don’t bully back which can make things even worse for the bullied and for yourself.

But be sure that you feel safe to do the above. If you don’t feel safe, then tell an adult such as a teacher, a school counselor, a school nurse, the principal, the bus driver, or your parents.

Source: www.ask.hrsa.gov

First, you should explain to your children what bullying is. “Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose”. Tell them that bullying usually happens more than one time.

Show your children that sometimes bullying is easily noticeable but sometimes it isn’t. Both boys and girls can bully and can be bullied.

Teach your children what they can do in a bullying situation:

• Tell you or other adults.
• If the bullying happened school, tell the teacher, school counselor, or principal.
• Don’t fight back. Trying to bully those who bully you will just make matters worse.
• Try not to show anger or fear to the bullies.
• Calmly tell the student to stop. Walk away from the bully.
• If they can, try to avoid bullying situations:
  • Avoid areas of the school where there are not
    many students or teachers around.
  • Make sure you aren’t alone in the bathroom
    or locker room.
  • Sit near the front of the bus.
  • Don’t bring expensive things or lots of money
    to school.
  • Sit with a group of friends at lunch.
  • Take a different route through hallways or
    walk with friends or a teacher to your classes.

Source: www.ask.hrsa.gov

If parents notice their children being bullied in school, or if their children tell them, they should notify the school immediately and work with the school. You should keep a written record of each incident and write down as much details as possible including where, when, and where. Speak with your children’s teacher right away. But be nice. Discuss with the teacher to see whether he/she has some ways of prevention. Be sure to follow up with the teacher and keep a detailed written log of each meeting. If no improvements after a few weeks, then ask to speak with the principal.

Parents should take school bullying seriously and often they are the first ones to detect the warning signs. However, some parents hesitate to tell the school teachers when they find out that their children are bullied in school. There are few reasons for parents to hesitate. One of them is that they are afraid that they might make the situation worse by telling the school. Or the parents feel embarrassed to tell the teachers fearing that the teachers might think of them as overly protective. Often times, the bullied children ask the parents not to tell the school and want to solve the problems on their own.

But children need parents’ help to prevent and stop school bullying. Call the school as soon as possible if the parents see any bullying warnings signs.