Cyber Bullying & School Bullying

Bullying can happen anywhere to anyone. It can happen in school or after school environment. If a child hurts or scares another child on purpose, it’s bullying. If the bullied person has hard time defending himself, and you see it and want to help. Can you help? Bullying isn’t always easy to notice because it can be hitting or name-calling, but sometimes it can be saying mean things to people in person or behind their back.

If you notice those behaviors and want to help. Make sure you do the following:

• Don’t just stand there. . . say something or tell an adult;
• Tell the bullying that it isn’t funny or cool to bully someone;
• However, don’t bully back which can make things even worse for the bullied and for yourself.

But be sure that you feel safe to do the above. If you don’t feel safe, then tell an adult such as a teacher, a school counselor, a school nurse, the principal, the bus driver, or your parents.

Source: www.ask.hrsa.gov

First, you should explain to your children what bullying is. “Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose”. Tell them that bullying usually happens more than one time.

Show your children that sometimes bullying is easily noticeable but sometimes it isn’t. Both boys and girls can bully and can be bullied.

Teach your children what they can do in a bullying situation:

• Tell you or other adults.
• If the bullying happened school, tell the teacher, school counselor, or principal.
• Don’t fight back. Trying to bully those who bully you will just make matters worse.
• Try not to show anger or fear to the bullies.
• Calmly tell the student to stop. Walk away from the bully.
• If they can, try to avoid bullying situations:
  • Avoid areas of the school where there are not
    many students or teachers around.
  • Make sure you aren’t alone in the bathroom
    or locker room.
  • Sit near the front of the bus.
  • Don’t bring expensive things or lots of money
    to school.
  • Sit with a group of friends at lunch.
  • Take a different route through hallways or
    walk with friends or a teacher to your classes.

Source: www.ask.hrsa.gov

If parents notice their children being bullied in school, or if their children tell them, they should notify the school immediately and work with the school. You should keep a written record of each incident and write down as much details as possible including where, when, and where. Speak with your children’s teacher right away. But be nice. Discuss with the teacher to see whether he/she has some ways of prevention. Be sure to follow up with the teacher and keep a detailed written log of each meeting. If no improvements after a few weeks, then ask to speak with the principal.

Parents should take school bullying seriously and often they are the first ones to detect the warning signs. However, some parents hesitate to tell the school teachers when they find out that their children are bullied in school. There are few reasons for parents to hesitate. One of them is that they are afraid that they might make the situation worse by telling the school. Or the parents feel embarrassed to tell the teachers fearing that the teachers might think of them as overly protective. Often times, the bullied children ask the parents not to tell the school and want to solve the problems on their own.

But children need parents’ help to prevent and stop school bullying. Call the school as soon as possible if the parents see any bullying warnings signs.

Parents’ involvement in bulling prevention and detection is essential in the battle of stopping bullying. But how do you find out if your children are being bullied if they are too embarrassed or too afraid to tell you. There are a few warning signs that parents should pay attention to:

1. If your child comes home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings;
2. Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches when the child come home;
3. Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical issues;
4. Has trouble sleeping;
5. Shows a loss of appetite;
6. Appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem,
7. does not have any friends or very few friends to play with;
8. Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers;
9. The child has no interest in school work or suddenly begins to do poorly in school;
10. When your child comes home appearing sad or moody.

Talk to your child if you see any of the 10 warning signs.

Source: U.S Department of Health and Human Services

There are many school-based bullying prevention programs. Although they vary in size and scope, the most promising programs incorporate the following characteristics:

• focus on creating a school-wide environment, or climate that discourages bullying,
• Surveys of students to assess the nature and extent of bullying behavior and attitudes toward bullying,
• Training to prepare staff to recognize and respond to bullying,
• Development of consistent rules against bullying,
• Review and enhancement of the school’s disciplinary code related to bullying behavior,
• Classroom activities to discuss issues related to bullying,
• Integration of bullying prevention themes across the curriculum,
• Individual and group work with children who have been bullied,
• Individual work with children who have bullied their peers,
• Involvement of parents in bullying prevention and intervention activities, and
• Use of teacher or staff groups to increase staff knowledge and motivation related to bullying.

Source: U.S Department of Health and Human Services

# Engage a diverse group of parents, youth, and caring adults to explore how residents perceive the problem and what solutions they recommend.
# Be certain to involve youth at every stage in planning, implementing, and evaluating your bullying prevention efforts. That’s the best way to tap into their world and know what will work.
# Knowledge and resources already exist within your community. Seek out interested partners from a variety of sources: educators and guidance counselors, health and mental heath professionals, child development and family centers, social service agencies, local police and law enforcement, neighborhood associations, high school students, colleges and universities, service organizations, faith-based organizations, volunteer groups, and businesses.
# Keep in mind, that more than 70 public and private sector health and safety, mental health, education, faith-based, law enforcement, and youth-serving organizations are partners in the Stop Bullying Now! Campaign. They signed on to spread the message and promote community based coalitions. Consider contacting local chapters, members, and staff of the national associations and service organizations who are Campaign Partner.
Source: U.S Department of Health and Human Services

Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Often, bullying is repeated over time.

Conflict involves antagonism among two or more people. Whereas any two people can have a conflict (or a disagreement or a fight), bullying only occurs where there is a power imbalance—where one child has a hard time defending himself or herself. Why is the difference between bullying and conflict important? Conflict resolution or mediation strategies are sometimes misused to solve bullying problems. These strategies can send the message that both children are “partly right and partly wrong,” or that, “We need to work out the conflict between you.” These messages are not appropriate messages in cases of bullying (or in any situation where someone is being victimized). The appropriate message to the child who is bullied should be, “Bullying is wrong and no one deserves to be bullied. We are going to do everything we can to stop it.”

Source: U.S Department of Health and Human Services

• Bullying among children is aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength.
• Bullying can seriously affect the emotional, physical, and academic well-being of children who are bullied.
• Dealing with discipline problems related to bullying incidents can take a good deal of administrators’ and educators’ time during a school day.
• Bullying can contribute to a negative climate in schools.
• Bullying is more prevalent than many adults suspect.

Everyone in the school environment will benefit from implementation of an effective bullying prevention program.

Before implementing any efforts to address bullying or other violence at school, keep in mind that

• Effective programs require strong administrative leadership and ongoing commitment on the part of the adults in the school system.
• Those programs that show the most promise are comprehensive in approach. They involve the entire school community, including families, and can take the forms of school-wide interventions, classroom activities, and individual interventions.
• Bullying prevention efforts should begin early–as children transition into kind–and continue throughout the children’s education.
• Effective bullying prevention programs should have no “end date” but should instead become part of the life of your school. Ongoing staff development is important to sustain bullying prevention programs.

Source: U.S Department of Health and Human Services

Out-of-school time settings present some particular challenges and opportunities for preventing and addressing bullying.

Challenges

* Bullying thrives where there is not enough supervision. When adult staff and volunteers supervise large numbers of youth, bullying may go unnoticed.
* Adults who do not interact with children regularly (e.g., meet once or twice a week and for brief periods) are often unfamiliar with the youths’ personalities, behavior patterns, and friendships. This can make it difficult for adults to tell the difference among bullying, rough play, and conflicts between youth and to know how and when to intervene.
* Staff with extended-day programs may find that bullying during the school day carries over into before- and after-school activities.

Opportunities

* Some children learn best from less structured, hands-on experiences and without the pressure and competition typical in the classroom setting. Out-of-school time programs can easily integrate lessons that build self-control, confidence, and even resilience to bullying.
* Children usually bully peers who are their same age or younger. In out-of-school time settings that include children of different ages, younger children may be at risk for being bullied. This offers an opportunity to call upon older adolescents to mentor or protect younger children or others who may be particularly vulnerable to bullying.
* Children and youth who are bullied at school can benefit greatly from taking part in activities that allow them to pursue their interests and discover their talents and develop friendships with peers who share these interests. Doing so can increase their self-assurance and self-esteem. Children who are bullied also may benefit from having a chance to make friends with peers other than their classmates. Sometimes it can be a relief for these children to interact with peers who don’t go to their school and who don’t view them as a victim of bullying.
* Children and youth who bully others in school tend to spend time with peers who support their bullying and who have positive attitudes toward violence. They, too, may benefit from community programs that separate them from their classmates. In closely supervised and structured settings, it is possible to challenge children who bully to use their social skills in constructive and appropriate ways.

Source: U.S. Department of Health & Human Services