Cyber Bullying & School Bullying

Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Often, bullying is repeated over time.

Conflict involves antagonism among two or more people. Whereas any two people can have a conflict (or a disagreement or a fight), bullying only occurs where there is a power imbalance—where one child has a hard time defending himself or herself. Why is the difference between bullying and conflict important? Conflict resolution or mediation strategies are sometimes misused to solve bullying problems. These strategies can send the message that both children are “partly right and partly wrong,” or that, “We need to work out the conflict between you.” These messages are not appropriate messages in cases of bullying (or in any situation where someone is being victimized). The appropriate message to the child who is bullied should be, “Bullying is wrong and no one deserves to be bullied. We are going to do everything we can to stop it.”

Source: U.S Department of Health and Human Services

• Bullying among children is aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength.
• Bullying can seriously affect the emotional, physical, and academic well-being of children who are bullied.
• Dealing with discipline problems related to bullying incidents can take a good deal of administrators’ and educators’ time during a school day.
• Bullying can contribute to a negative climate in schools.
• Bullying is more prevalent than many adults suspect.

Everyone in the school environment will benefit from implementation of an effective bullying prevention program.

Before implementing any efforts to address bullying or other violence at school, keep in mind that

• Effective programs require strong administrative leadership and ongoing commitment on the part of the adults in the school system.
• Those programs that show the most promise are comprehensive in approach. They involve the entire school community, including families, and can take the forms of school-wide interventions, classroom activities, and individual interventions.
• Bullying prevention efforts should begin early–as children transition into kind–and continue throughout the children’s education.
• Effective bullying prevention programs should have no “end date” but should instead become part of the life of your school. Ongoing staff development is important to sustain bullying prevention programs.

Source: U.S Department of Health and Human Services

• Don’t do further damage by lending too much support in public. Kids are concerned about what their peer group sees and knows. It may be more helpful to lend your supportive words and gestures in private.
• Spend time with the student. Learn about what’s been going on. Listen. Get the facts (who, what, when, where, and how) and assess the student’s feelings about the bullying. Is this the first time he or she has been hurt by bullying, or is this something that’s been going on for a while? Recognize that this discussion may be difficult for the student. Tell him or her that you are sorry about what happened. Assure the student that it’s not his or her fault.
• Praise the student for their courage to discuss bullying incidents with you. Explain how helpful they are being by providing this important information, not only for themselves, but also for the rest of the students and staff.
• Ask the student what he or she needs to feel safe. Those who are bullied may feel powerless, scared, and helpless. Give this student a voice. Follow through and grant their requests, when possible. Emphasize the confidential nature of your discussion and be clear about who will and will not be given this information. Get additional facts about the incident(s) from other adults or students, so the bullied student doesn’t feel that he or she could be easily identified as the sole reporter of the abuse. Protect this student in conversations with the student(s) who bully. Don’t reveal his or her identity, if possible. Rather, explain that you’ve learned about the bullying from a number of sources, including other adults.
• Communicate with colleagues about the bullying incident. Other staff members who have contact with the student who was bullied can also lend support and assistance. Ask them to continue their observations to be sure that the bullying has stopped. Also encourage them to communicate progress or further incidents to all of the appropriate staff members.
• Don’t force a meeting between the student who is bullied and the student who bullied them. Such meetings can cause much further harm. Forced apologies don’t help.
• Provide as much information as you can about your “next steps”. Information is helpful for the student who is bullied to regain a sense of safety and control. Urge the student to report any further incidents of bullying that involve the same or different students.
• Encourage and support the student who is bullied in making friends. One of the most important bullying prevention tools is helping each student at school to have a good friend to be with and talk to.
• Explore how the student’s parents may be of support to them. Many children keep incidents of bullying to themselves and don’t tell their parents. Explain that if their parents know, more support may be available. Talk with parents, if appropriate, about your concerns.
• Make a referral, if needed. Bullying can be traumatic, just as other forms of abuse can be. Assess, or have another professional assess, how much support and assistance this student may need. Talk with your school counselor about a counseling or mental health referral. Err on the side of offering more services, rather than fewer. Bullying is no longer viewed as a rite of passage that all kids just have to endure. It is a form of abuse that can cause psychological, physical, and academic problems for children who are bullied.
• Make sure you follow up with a student who has been bullied. Let the student know that you are a resource for him or her and that you plan to “check in” with them in two to three days and beyond.

Source: U.S Department of Health and Human Services

Bullying among children is aggressive behavior that is persistent, intentional, and involves an imbalance of power or strength. Children and youth who are bullied need clear messages of support from adults. Although we want children to be strong and assertive so that they can stand up to kids who bully, adults must realize that many children aren’t ready to do this. Adults play critical roles in helping students who are bullied and in creating a healthy, safe climate in your school and community.

SOURCE: U.S Department of Health and Human Services

As adults, we may feel uncertain about how to handle bullying when we see or hear it happening. We may respond in ways that don’t make the best use of the opportunity to teach a young person the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Bullying among children is inappropriate because it is aggressive behavior that is intentional and involves an imbalance of power and strength. If the situation is not handled appropriately, we could end up inadvertently promoting, rather than reducing, bullying. Here are some tips to help respond more effectively on the spot and make the best use of the “teachable moment” with all students at school.

Source: U.S. Department of Health & Human Services

Out-of-school time settings present some particular challenges and opportunities for preventing and addressing bullying.

Challenges

* Bullying thrives where there is not enough supervision. When adult staff and volunteers supervise large numbers of youth, bullying may go unnoticed.
* Adults who do not interact with children regularly (e.g., meet once or twice a week and for brief periods) are often unfamiliar with the youths’ personalities, behavior patterns, and friendships. This can make it difficult for adults to tell the difference among bullying, rough play, and conflicts between youth and to know how and when to intervene.
* Staff with extended-day programs may find that bullying during the school day carries over into before- and after-school activities.

Opportunities

* Some children learn best from less structured, hands-on experiences and without the pressure and competition typical in the classroom setting. Out-of-school time programs can easily integrate lessons that build self-control, confidence, and even resilience to bullying.
* Children usually bully peers who are their same age or younger. In out-of-school time settings that include children of different ages, younger children may be at risk for being bullied. This offers an opportunity to call upon older adolescents to mentor or protect younger children or others who may be particularly vulnerable to bullying.
* Children and youth who are bullied at school can benefit greatly from taking part in activities that allow them to pursue their interests and discover their talents and develop friendships with peers who share these interests. Doing so can increase their self-assurance and self-esteem. Children who are bullied also may benefit from having a chance to make friends with peers other than their classmates. Sometimes it can be a relief for these children to interact with peers who don’t go to their school and who don’t view them as a victim of bullying.
* Children and youth who bully others in school tend to spend time with peers who support their bullying and who have positive attitudes toward violence. They, too, may benefit from community programs that separate them from their classmates. In closely supervised and structured settings, it is possible to challenge children who bully to use their social skills in constructive and appropriate ways.

Source: U.S. Department of Health & Human Services

• Educate your students, teachers, and other staff members about cyberbullying, its dangers, and what to do if someone is cyberbullied.
• Be sure that your school’s anti-bullying rules and policies address cyberbullying.
• Closely monitor students’ use of computers at school.
• Use filtering and tracking software on all computers, but don’t rely solely on this software to screen out cyberbullying and other problematic online behavior.
• Investigate reports of cyberbullying immediately. If cyberbullying occurs through the school district’s Internet system, you are obligated to take action. If the cyberbullying occurs off-campus, consider what actions you might take to help address the bullying:
  • Notify parents of victims and parents of cyberbullies of known or suspected cyberbullying.
  • Notify the police if the known or suspected cyberbullying involves a threat.
  • Closely monitor the behavior of the affected students at school for possible bullying.
  • Talk with all students about the harms caused by cyberbullying. Remember — cyberbullying that occurs off-campus can travel like wildfire among your students and can affect how they behave and relate to each other at school.
  • Investigate to see if the victim(s) of cyberbullying could use some support from a school counselor or school-based mental health professional.
• Contact the police immediately if known or suspected cyberbullying involves acts such as:
  • Threats of violence
  • Extortion
  • Obscene or harassing phone calls or text messages
  • Harassment, stalking, or hate crimes
  • Child pornography

Source: U.S. Department of Health & Human Services

There are many school-based bullying prevention programs. Although they vary in size and scope, the most promising programs incorporate the following characteristics:

• focus on creating a school-wide environment, or climate that discourages bullying,
• Surveys of students to assess the nature and extent of bullying behavior and attitudes toward bullying,
• Training to prepare staff to recognize and respond to bullying,
• Development of consistent rules against bullying,
• Review and enhancement of the school’s disciplinary code related to bullying behavior,
• Classroom activities to discuss issues related to bullying,
• Integration of bullying prevention themes across the curriculum,
• Individual and group work with children who have been bullied,
• Individual work with children who have bullied their peers,
• Involvement of parents in bullying prevention and intervention activities, and
• Use of teacher or staff groups to increase staff knowledge and motivation related to bullying.

Source: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

If you suspect your child is being bullied, remember to support your child, inform others and take action.

• First, focus on your child. Be supportive and gather information about the bullying. Tell your child you are concerned about him or her and ask questions.
• Contact your child’s teacher and/or principal. He or she will probably be in the best position to understand the relationships between your child and other peers at school. Ask the teacher to talk to other adults who interact with your child at school to see if they have observed students bullying your child.
• If you know your child is being bullied, take quick action. There is nothing worse than doing nothing, and bullying can have serious effects.

If, after talking with your child and staff at his or her school, you don’t believe your child is being bullied, be alert to other possible problems your child may be having. Share your concerns with a counselor at your child’s school.

Source: U.S. Department of Health & Human Services

• Tell yourself that it is okay not to be the best at everything.
• Help out by doing chores around the house and volunteering in your community.
• Do things that you enjoy, or learn about new things you would like to try.
• Understand that there will be times when you will feel disappointed in yourself and other people. No one is perfect!
• If you are angry, try talking it over with an adult you trust (parents/guardians, relatives or a school counselor).
• Think positively about yourself and the things you can do. Think: “I will try!”
• If you still find that you are not feeling good about yourself, talk to your parents/guardian, a school counselor, or your doctor because you may be at risk for depression. (You can also ask the school nurse for help through tough times. Some schools offer counseling.) Learn more about depression and other health issues that can affect your mind.

Source: Office on Women’s Health.