There are many school-based bullying prevention programs. Although they vary in size and scope, the most promising programs incorporate the following characteristics:
- focus on creating a school-wide environment, or climate that discourages bullying,
- Surveys of students to assess the nature and extent of bullying behavior and attitudes toward bullying,
- Training to prepare staff to recognize and respond to bullying,
- Development of consistent rules against bullying,
- Review and enhancement of the school’s disciplinary code related to bullying behavior,
- Classroom activities to discuss issues related to bullying,
- Integration of bullying prevention themes across the curriculum,
- Individual and group work with children who have been bullied,
- Individual work with children who have bullied their peers,
- Involvement of parents in bullying prevention and intervention activities, and
- Use of teacher or staff groups to increase staff knowledge and motivation related to bullying.
Source: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
If you suspect your child is being bullied, remember to support your child, inform others and take action.
- First, focus on your child. Be supportive and gather information about the bullying. Tell your child you are concerned about him or her and ask questions.
- Contact your child’s teacher and/or principal. He or she will probably be in the best position to understand the relationships between your child and other peers at school. Ask the teacher to talk to other adults who interact with your child at school to see if they have observed students bullying your child.
- If you know your child is being bullied, take quick action. There is nothing worse than doing nothing, and bullying can have serious effects.
If, after talking with your child and staff at his or her school, you don’t believe your child is being bullied, be alert to other possible problems your child may be having. Share your concerns with a counselor at your child’s school.
Source: U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
- Tell yourself that it is okay not to be the best at everything.
- Help out by doing chores around the house and volunteering in your community.
- Do things that you enjoy, or learn about new things you would like to try.
- Understand that there will be times when you will feel disappointed in yourself and other people. No one is perfect!
- If you are angry, try talking it over with an adult you trust (parents/guardians, relatives or a school counselor).
- Think positively about yourself and the things you can do. Think: “I will try!”
- If you still find that you are not feeling good about yourself, talk to your parents/guardian, a school counselor, or your doctor because you may be at risk for depression. (You can also ask the school nurse for help through tough times. Some schools offer counseling.) Learn more about depression and other health issues that can affect your mind.
Source: Office on Women’s Health.
Although you may not be directly involved in the bullying, there may be times when you see others being bullied. And even though it may be easier to stand by and watch or ignore the bullying, try to keep in mind, we all need a little help from time to time. Think about how you might feel if the bullying was happening to you. Here’s how you can make a difference:
- Stand up for the victim. It takes a lot of courage, but try defending the person being bullied. This can shock and embarrass the bully so much that they leave their victim alone.
- Don’t join in on bullying. If you see someone being bullied, don’t join in. If the bully tries to get you to help, refuse and walk away.
- Stop the rumors. Don’t help spread rumors about another person. You wouldn’t want rumors spread about you, so don’t do it to someone else! If someone gossips to you, let it end with you – don’t pass it on to others. You can even tell that person you’re not interested.
- Tell an adult. Don’t just stand there and watch, especially if someone is being hurt physically. Tell an adult about the bully and what’s going on. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe telling an adult, ask the adult to keep your comments private.
- Offer help. When the bully is gone, try and help the person who was bullied and make sure he or she is okay. Encourage her to talk to an adult and stick up for herself.
When you help someone who’s being bullied, you are not just helping someone else, you’re also helping yourself. It’s important to stand up for what you believe in and help others when you can.
Source: the Office on Women’s Health.
Boys and girls who engage in bullying behavior tend to have a need to feel powerful and in control. They seem to get satisfaction from inflicting pain or hurting their peers, both physically and emotionally.
- Are aggressive with others (including parents and teachers)
- Frequently hit or push other children
- Are physically strong and socially dominant
- Have a positive view of aggression
- Have trouble following rules
- Show little empathy for others
- Are emotionally immature
- Are irresponsible
- Show inadequate social skills (also true for bully/victims)
- Seek attention (think fear equals respect)
- Are often contemptuous of both children and adults
- Are often academically below average
- Cannot and will not accept responsibility for their actions
Source: SAMHSA. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
Mental heath practitioners can play an important role in helping youth develop resiliency. Some strategies include being able to:
- Identify the youth’s assets.
- Identify the family’s assets.
- Role-model positive behavior.
- Encourage learning and participation in extracurricular activities.
- Encourage the youth to explore and identify his or her values and beliefs.
- Teach communication skills, problem-solving skills, and decision-making skills.
- Promote community involvement.
- Help youth to identify goals and find the resources to help achieve these goals.
- Set clear expectations with the youth.
- Encourage the youth to develop a positive sense of self.
Source: SAMHSA, an Agency of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
Is it against the law to bully? What are the rights and responsibilities of schools, parents, and students when it comes to providing a safe environment for learning? What are a school’s obligations when a student has confided in a counselor about a bullying incident? What are a school’s legal obligations when a student says he plans to harm himself or others?
These are just a few of the legal and ethical issues schools and mental health professionals must address when working with children on bullying and family violence.
As with many complex social problems, these questions demand more than a simple “yes” or “no” answer or legal citation. Some bullying behaviors, such as racial or sexual bullying, are a violation of civil rights laws. Physical bullying can be charged as an assault. Some forms of bullying, such as teasing and intimidating, however, are not illegal. In describing bullying actions that had left her daughter devastated, one mother noted of her daughter’s tormentors, “Nothing they do (or don’t do) is against the rules.” ref
Whether or not the bullying behavior is technically illegal, creating lasting change among communities that have acknowledged the presence of bullying requires more than a legalistic response. At the same time, communities are aware of the need to use the law to protect the rights of individuals and to prevent actions for which they might be liable.
Laws that clearly define duties and rights also serve the purpose of sending the message to students, parents, and the public that bullying behaviors are not acceptable. Absent strong standards, including legal ones, schools and communities that fail to “adapt to circumstances,” as the Chinese proverb says, may find themselves in an antagonistic relationship with victims and members of the public who will seek legal and other remedies to bullying problems.
Source: SAMHSA. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
While bullying has been a problem for some kids since the beginning of schools, several factors have significantly increased the scope of the problem in recent years.
One is the increase in the level of violence with students bringing guns to school. The other factor is the level of technology available, including cell phones and the internet. As students become adolescents, bullying increases for a number of reasons.
The primary one is developmental: adolescents move from being primarily influenced by their parents to being strongly influenced by their peers. Since parents tend to be more mature than other kids, this change entails kids being exposed to immature communication at the very same point that this communication becomes central to their understanding of themselves.
The addition of cyber bullying means that there is no “safe” place for kids. It used to be if kids were bullied at school, then at least home was a place where everything was okay. With cyber bullying, a student cannot even use his or her cell phone without being subject to someone else’s meanness. In order to address bullying, all adults involved with young people need to be alert to the subtle signs of bullying whether kids are the bully or the bullied.
This can be a challenge since every generation of teens seems to produce its own culture and incomprehensible (to adults) language. Yet the only way bullying can be stopped or prevented is for adults to intervene and make it clear that bullying is not acceptable in any form.
Research and experience suggest comprehensive efforts that involve administrators, teachers and other school staff, students, and parents who are concerned about school violence and bullying are more likely to be successful than those based solely in the classroom. Comprehensive intervention encompasses clearly worded policies and stated codes of behaviors with consistent and supportive follow-through. Many resources needed come from the existing school community, including all school staff (including hall monitors, cafeteria workers, janitors), administrators, and parents.
It takes time to change attitudes and behaviors. But a community that perseveres can be successful.
More than 10 years ago, Harvard University convened international experts on school violence and bullying to study prevention strategies. Sponsored by the National School Safety Center and the Federal Office of Juvenile Justice, Delinquency and Prevention, the practicum included prominent researchers, mental health professionals, and school and law enforcement personnel. This effort resulted in the development of a list of services, strategies, and suggested training classes for addressing bullying. It also led to the recommendation that schools provide:
* Rules against bullying that are publicized, posted school-wide, and accompanied by consistent sanctions
* Student and adult mentors who assist victims to build self-esteem and to foster mutual understanding of and appreciation for differences in others
* A “buddy system” that pairs students with a particular friend or an older student who is aware of the buddy’s class schedule and is available if help is needed
* An on-campus parents’ center to recruit parents to participate in the educational process, volunteer, and assist in school projects and activities
* Parenting and anger management classes for adults
* Behavior contracts signed by students and parents, and written behavior codes for students, teachers, and staff members
* Discipline policies that emphasize positive behaviors rather than punishments for wrong behaviors
* Training for all adult supervisors in cafeterias, playgrounds, or other “hot spots” where bullying is known to occur
* Classroom and school-wide activities designed to build self-esteem (for those who are bullied) by spotlighting special talents, hobbies, interests, and abilities of all students
Source: http://pathwayscourses.samhsa.gov/bully/bully_6_pg4.htm
Bullying exists within an environment of other forms of violence and aggression by and toward youth:
- The U.S. child homicide rate (2.6 per 100,000 for children younger than 15 years) is five times higher than the rate of 25 other industrialized countries combined, according to the CDC.
- Suicide is the third leading cause of death for adolescents. The rate of suicide among adolescents increased 128 percent between 1960 and 2000.
- According to a 2001 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse (NHSDA) Report, 28 percent of the nation’s youth have participated in a serious fight either at school or at work, have taken part in a group-against-group fight, or have attacked others with the intent of seriously hurting them.
- The U.S. Department of Justice reports that juveniles are twice as likely as adults to be victims of serious violent crime and three times as likely to be victims of assault.
- In one-third of the sexual assaults reported to law enforcement, the victim is under the age of 12.
- According to a comprehensive 1995 study of the prevalence of violence among youth, approximately 8.8 million youths indicated that they had seen someone else being shot, stabbed, sexually assaulted, physically assaulted, or threatened with a weapon.
- An estimated one in eight 17-year-olds have experienced post-traumatic stress disorder at some point in their lifetimes, according to the same study cited above.
- The average child sees 16,000 murders on television by age 18. Although homicide rates have decreased, network news coverage of homicides has ballooned.
Source: SAMHSA, an Agency of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, http://pathwayscourses.samhsa.gov/
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